Friday, May 23, 2008

Evolution vs Creation Jokes

LADIES & GENTLEMAN !!!!
IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE MILLENIUM !!!!
CREATION VS. EVOLUTION!!!

This is going to be a caged, no holds barred match, to the death!!!!

In one corner we have EVOLUTION, who brings with it an assortment of weapons, including : records, fossils, actual proof, and even a bit of faith and belief.

In the other corner we have CREATION, who brings---wait a minute, CREATION is pulling something from out of a sack, it's a....it's a....It's a book?!? CREATION has brought a book to use in battle. And yes a bit of faith & belief.

It's unbelievable the way they are going at each other folks! It's a battle royal. Who will win this grudge match? Who will suffer from their loss? We may never know. Let's watch & see, and pray ours is the victorious one, which ever that may be.

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Q :Why did the chicken cross the road?
Evolutionist: Pure chance.
Evolutionist: Only the fittest chickens survive crossing the road.
Creationist: God created the chicken on the other side of the road. There is no proof it ever was on this side.

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This essay was originally posted on July 24th 2000 in response to a Biblical creationist who misunderstood evolutionary theory so badly that he used the following example in an attempt to refute it:
"If you put automobile parts in a box and shake it up for a trillion years, you will not get an automobile".

I have since heard other creationists define evolution as a collection of single cells that suddenly, intentionally, and purposefully amassed themselves directly into a human being while other separate cell groups independently evolved into reptiles, birds, fish, etc. Another creationist also described a single individual fish suddenly growing legs and walking within one lifetime. Another demanded that if evolution were true, why didn't horses sprout wings to escape predators?
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Ovulation versus cretinism


Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a
newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.

Source: http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/4_6.html#subindex

6 comments:

sharudin said...

Salam semua

The science of pure chance is very difficult to understand that make most people not understanding fate in Qodo and Qadar! Maka selalulny dengar "Dah rakdir" dengan konotasi tidak menyalahkan diri.

Ahmad Saifuddin Amran said...

Agree. Laymen tend to understand science of pure chance or randomness as simple as calculating the probability of dice. As a matter of fact, even scientists found that it is hardly to understand the complexity of probability even one dice. Considering the friction of air, the velocity of moving air, duration of time, dice weight, the angle while throwing the dice, etc are taken into account, makes it insanely impossible calculation. Thus, the theory of probability (or other theories) is just to simplify these complexities of the constant changing variables into near truth.

Kalau masih tidak yakin dengan so-called theory, maka nasihat saya jangan naik kapal terbang, atau jangan masuk dalam bangunan. Sebabnya para engineer menggunakan theory of stress untuk membina bangunan atau kapal terbang yang kukuh. Takut-takut terhempas pula kapal terbang atau runtuh pula bangunan sebab hanya 'teori'.

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